User talk:Asf45/Term Paper Proposal

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Student Comments

1. Create a header with your name, class, and date at the top of your submission.

2. “enhance osteoclast proliferation such that bone is degraded…” is awkward phrasing, maybe look to change it.

3. “of osteoclasts to proliferation” and “osteoblasts to decay”– the to can be deleted.

4. “osteoclast cells present; 2)” should probably have a comma instead of a semicolon.

5. “ reproduce Fig. 2 and check it against the Fig. 2 in the paper”-seems a bit repetitive with the two Fig. 2's.

6. “analyses of the effect of the increase”- the first of can be changed to on

--Lexi Meglio (talk) 21:34, 8 March 2017 (EST)

* Should mention all 17 variables that are constants 
*  This sentence should be consistent with the parenthesis when explaining myeloma cells..."osteoblast cells (which synthesize bone), osteoclast cells (which break down bone) and myeloma cells, which are plasma cells that have become malignant."
  • Explain more about how the assumptions you've made will relate to what you plan to model
  • "The third of these parameters.."could shorten and say the third parameter

--Robert Herd (talk) 8:29, 9 March 2017 (EST)

Instructor Comments

This is an excellent proposal and is very well written.

Your proposed extension seems like a good start, but it might be too simple to constitute a full extension.

--Jeffrey Gill (talk) 17:02, 13 March 2017 (EDT)