User talk:Fxf78/Term Paper Proposal

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Student Comments

--James Mcginnity (talk) 08:16, 9 March 2017 (EST)

Typo, first paragraph, second line; Change "First model..." to "The first model..."

Typo, first paragraph, fourth line; Change "How the disease relapse..." to "The disease relapse..."

Clarity of speech, second paragraph, lines 6-7; rewrite the sentence because it is very confusing.

Clarity of speech, second paragraph, lines 7-8; don't list the assumptions as 1), 2), 3), but as first, second, and third.

Overall, your proposal made sense and your model seems feasible, though I don't envy your 17 parameters to keep track of.


--Mariana Sainz-Garcia (talk) 11:45, 9 March 2017 (EST)

Be on the lookout and differentiate between present and past tense. In some sentences, you use a mixture of both. With research and papers, usually, the present tense is always used.

Also be on the lookout when it comes to singular and plural nouns in your sentences. For example, in the sentence "We would do this for both situation when myeloma is present or not. The results will be compared to Figure 4 and 3 respectively", the word "situation" should be plural.

I'm not too sure about this one, but when it comes to the hypothesis, I think it should be that the paper hypothesized... as opposed to your team making the hypothesis. Since you're recreating the mathematical model, but not actually doing the full on research.

Other than that, your paper topic seems really interesting, good luck with everything!

Instructor Comments

This is an excellent proposal and is well written. You should proofread your writing to identify typos.

Your proposed extension seems like a good start, but it might be too simple to constitute a full extension.

--Jeffrey Gill (talk) 17:07, 13 March 2017 (EDT)