User talk:Jjb189/Benchmark I: Introduction

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Student Comments

While the background given is concise and gives brief insight into significance, many of the terms should be described in much more detail to help the reader understand the details of your paper. Finding references and looking at the references from the paper you are reproducing should help you to describe these terms. Some details you could work on include defining what acetalhyde is, how it enters the body, how it adversely affects the body and causes the list of symptoms you provided (which you should have a reference for). Also if you explain the relationship between acetalhyde and alcohol, the significance of the problem will make more sense. --Tate Keller (talk) 15:51, 3 April 2017 (EDT)

"Cardiac arrhythmias, nausea, etc" are quoted directly from your original paper so it should be referenced. You have mentioned the significance of the problem briefly, but more general backgrounds should be given, for instance, you could provide what are the technical issues of measuring acetaldehyde in the blood, and how this model has help to measure or even predict the concentration, what is this model composed of, why is the liver modeled as tubular flow reactor, etc. --Alexis Wu (talk) 21:35, 3 April 2017 (EDT)Alexis Wu

Instructor Comments

  • Benchmark submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Rubric submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Significance of problem?
    • Barely stated
  • Statement of hypothesis?
    • Not clear that this is a real hypothesis, since in the absence of the reverse reaction, concentrations will always be higher. Had you explained the different compartments and the importance of the reaction for concentrations in those compartments, you might have stated a testable hypothesis.
  • List of references?
    • Inadequate
  • Properly formatted references?
    • Yes

On the whole, this is a completely inadequate draft of the Introduction. Please submit an appropriate, properly written Introduction as soon as possible so that we can provide you some feedback on it.

Hillel Chiel (talk) 15:50, 28 March 2017 (EDT)