User talk:Jrm228/Benchmark I: Introduction
Great intro! Well written; things to improve:
-You can be more clear about the background involved in what your going to do when replicating the model; for example, in the sentence after your hypothesis you say "By replicating the model for several different types of neurons with varying values for “a”,...". You can describe what theses "several different types of neurons" are.
-You can also explain what alpha waves are/ what their function is, and also explain what membrane potential etc is and is used for.
In general, clear and well written intro, just work on explaining more about the technical terms you use.
I think this is a very good intro however here are some things I think will make it better:
-What are alpha waves?
-What is the purpose of the membrane potential parameter?
-I am also interested in understanding cortical neurons and their relationship with narcolepsy
- Benchmark submitted on time?
- Rubric submitted on time?
- Significance of problem?
- The background and description of the significance are very good, but there is a serious problem - see next comment.
- Statement of hypothesis?
- You are assuming that the entire problem associated with narcolepsy is due purely to the change in pattern of spoking of a particular type of neuron. Where is the scientific evidence that this is true? Without a careful chain of reasoning to establish this connection, your hypothesis cannot be tested by the current model. Thus, you need to go back and either create this chain of reasoning, or re-think your central hypothesis.
- List of references?
- Yes, 6 references
- Properly formatted references?
On the whole, this is a good to very good first draft. It is well written and well cited. However, unless the problem described above is properly addressed, it will not serve as the basis for an excellent term paper. You are encouraged to re-submit a modified introduction.