From BIOL 300 Wiki
This proposal looks good! Here are my suggestions for improvement:
- In the sentence "In order to check our solution, we will compare our graph to Figure 2." add a comma after "Figure 2." or else the sentence becomes a run-on
- "There is not a direct figure for us to compare our solution to, however we will be using the same method we used for our simulation of burster activity and therefore do not anticipate any other technical errors occurring that will not be previously addressed by our previous simulation." --The wording of this sentence is a little off. "However" is not a conjunction so you cannot use it after the comma in this sentence. There are two ways to edit this sentence: you can either start the sentence with "while" and remove "however," or you can replace "however" with "but." Perhaps to make this sentence even more clear, you might also split it up after "burster activity" and start a new sentence with "Therefore, we do not...."
- Typo: ... using equations eight throufh ten and...
- Typo: Next, will will use equations eleven through thirteen to...
- I think the last sentence is your extension although I am not sure, you may want to clarify what your extension will be.