User talk:Mxw433/Benchmark I: Introduction

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Student Comments

The biggest thing to fix would be some grammatical errors. For “generate a complete cell model while still ensures", could be changed to "while still ensuring". A few sentences later, "For instances" can lose the "s". In the hypothesis's last sentence, "when volume change before division" could be changes to "changes".--Lexi Meglio (talk) 01:21, 4 April 2017 (EDT)

I agree with Lexi, some of the grammar could be fixed. You used a lot of commas to make sort of a run-on sentence. For example the following sentence could be split into 2 smaller sentences.....

"Moreover, new Mycoplasma mycoides cells with chemically synthesized 1.08 mega base pair genome were developed several years ago, [4] which exemplifies the "top-bottom" approach, one of the two ways to construct a synthetic cell by manipulating the existing genome intentionally with the hope of acquiring new property. "

Instead I think you could say....

Moreover, new Mycoplasma mycoides cells with chemically synthesized 1.08 mega base pair genome were developed several years ago. [4] This exemplifies the "top-bottom" approach, one of the two ways to construct a synthetic cell by manipulating the existing genome intentionally with the hope of acquiring new property.

In the sentence "In all, Schneider and Mangold has provided some insights on the oscillatory mechanism in the Chemoton model and the possibilities of further refinement in order to obtain a more detailed artificial cell model."

[change has to have] --Robert Herd (talk) 09:07, 4 April 2017 (EDT)

Instructor Comments

  • Benchmark submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Rubric submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Significance of problem?
    • Good, although I think you should explain why the Chemoton model was successful. What was it useful for?
  • Statement of hypothesis?
    • Your hypothesis is not very different from "We can build a robust model of oscillations," which isn't really specific enough to be a falsifiable hypothesis. I expect you could come up with a stronger way of stating your hypothesis by inspecting the Chemoton model and seeing how Schneider and Mangold made it robust (e.g., "The addition of X guarentees robust oscillations."). I imagine it involved adding feedback mechanisms.
  • List of references?
    • Good
  • Properly formatted references?
    • Yes

When you say "'top-bottom' approach", I think you mean "top-down".

On the whole, this is a good Introduction. There are many small grammatical issues that should be fixed. For the final paper, I recommend making the changes outlined here.

--Jeffrey Gill (talk) 18:09, 31 March 2017 (EDT)