User talk:Tes94/Benchmark I: Introduction

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Student Comments

I am confused as to why you included your first paragraph, given the content of the second paragraph.

The format of your introduction is excellent; I like the sentence variety and level of detail.

The introduction is rough, but I believe you have made a fantastic start

--James Mcginnity (talk) 09:43, 29 March 2017 (EDT)

The first paragraph seems like it could be condensed into one sentence to give context for the second, and the second paragraph could also be a little shorter. The second paragraph reads pretty choppily - the content is good but could use a little work to read smoothly. I wasn't able to find the original definition of the term PO in your paper (by scanning for (PO) in the text). The level of detail is sufficient and provides enough context. A second look would be good to focus and condense the beginning of the introduction.

--Maria Kuznetsov (talk) 16:22, 2 April 2017 (EDT)

Instructor Comments

  • Benchmark submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Rubric submitted on time?
    • Yes
  • Significance of problem?
    • Yes
  • Statement of hypothesis?
    • Yes, but the term peripheral oscillator is not defined
  • List of references?
    • Yes
  • Properly formatted references?
    • Yes

On the whole, this is a very good to excellent first draft. You need to provide the reader more background on the specific model you are developing, and relate it to other models and their assumptions; if you do this, this will be excellent.

--Hillel Chiel (talk) 12:33, 30 March 2017 (EDT)